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Sariya
Moderator
 United Kingdom
80 Posts |
Posted - 10/22/2009 : 5:13:01 PM
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Can anyone help please? Just wondering if speech marks should be used when writing what someone is thinking.
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Ghislaine
Moderator

USA
290 Posts |
Posted - 10/22/2009 : 5:44:12 PM
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I asked the same question last year and there was a discussion about this on the old board. Fortunately, I copied and saved the posts before that board went inactive. I hope it's okay to copy them here; I'll delete them if it's not. But what follows is the thread about how to express a character's thoughts; the posts are in chronological order. Hope it helps!
ghislaine: Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:41 am I'm working on a story which, for most of it, is about just one character. I have a style question about mixing first and third person narration in the same paragraph. Some sentences are in third person and some are in first, to give a better idea of the major character's point of view of what's going on. It's not conversation that's being reported, however; it's the character's thoughts about what's happening. Maybe one quarter--probably less--is the character's thoughts. I don't want to convert the whole story to first person; I'd like to keep the mix.
So, stylistically, how would you indicate the change from third to first (and vice versa) persons? I don't think using quotation marks to indicate it would work because it's not dialog between different people. I could put the thoughts in italics, and I tried that to see what it'd look like, but I'm wondering if/concerned that that may look confusing and "busy" to readers, mixing italics and regular text in the same paragraph, and doing that throughout the several pages of the story. The other possibility I thought of is to do nothing; ie, don't set the first person parts off at all and just trust/hope readers will figure it out. That's what I did in another story but there was much less of this kind of mixing in that one than there would be with this new one.
I would really appreciate your ideas. Thanks!
====================== marla: Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 3:04 pm Ghislaine, I've been thinking about our question so I looked around for some books that use first person to see how the author handled this situation. From what I can find, I think you should stay in first person. You can describe the situation and setting around the person without the person "saying or thinking" and as long as it is something your main character sees, then it stays consistant.
For example: "I walked into the room and looked around." On the sofa, a cat reclined comfortably.
Not: "I walked into the room and looked around." She saw a cat reclining comfortably on the sofa.
Also, stay out of other people's pov, or describing things that your first person could not know or see. I think that makes a strong and consistant story. I wouldn't try to mix. Anywya, those are just my thoughts
======================================= ghislaine: Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:02 pm Thanks, Marla, for your comments. But I think maybe I wasn't as clear as I'd hoped, so I'm going to try and describe my question a different way. My story is mostly in the third person but there are times when I use first person to show the main character's thoughts. Everything is in that character's POV.
What I'd like to know is: How should I indicate that some sentences are the character's thoughts? Should I use italics? Use quotation marks (even though it's not dialog)? Or don't do anything to the text? If you or anyone else has any ideas about that, that'd be great!
====================================== marla: Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 10:28 pm Ah, thoughts, I see. Well, I use italics, and I make sure it is a first person thought, like: Heyes looked around but couldn't find his partner anywhere. Where are you Kid?
I've seen some put thoughts in the third person: Heyes looked around but couldn't find his parnter anywhere. Where was the Kid?
I prefer the thoughts in first person, and I don't use "" when I do that because it's not actually dialog. Anyway, those are my thoughts on the subject.
======================================= bj: Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 10:41 pm I don't use italics for thoughts. And I break the third/first person rule all the time. I try to use the character's language for their thoughts. If I took Marla's line it would sound something like:
Heyes looked around but couldn't see his partner. Where the heck are you Kid? He stretched, scratched his back, and thought it over. Could be at the local cat house, that's sorta Kid's style. Maybe he should look there first. It'd be as good as any place to start.
======================================== ghislaine: Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 5:30 am Thank you Marla and BJ! Both your comments were helpful but since you each express thoughts in a different way, I guess I'm just going to have to figure out which way I like better and which works best for my story. I've tried it both ways--with and without italics--and will have to think about it some more. Thanks again!
----------------------------------------------------- This is one of my schemes... ~ Hannibal Heyes |
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Sariya
Moderator

United Kingdom
80 Posts |
Posted - 10/22/2009 : 5:50:42 PM
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Thanks Ghislaine for that. I must have missed that post when it appeared on the other board.
I did think of using italics but wasn't sure about that either. |
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Eleanor
Starting Member

United Kingdom
33 Posts |
Posted - 10/28/2009 : 8:08:16 PM
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OOps, I'm a bit late getting to this but I haven't had time to look in for some time. For what its worth, I have a writing Style Guide and it states that thoughts "should be italicised"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Death is not the end of all, yet just the close of a glorious fall..." - PD |
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Sariya
Moderator

United Kingdom
80 Posts |
Posted - 11/02/2009 : 01:04:37 AM
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Thank you Eleanor. |
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