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beejay
Forum Admin
USA
266 Posts |
 Posted - 02/12/2009 : 9:20:02 PM
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Max begs you to please add your amazingly awestruck comments on the amazingly amazing Challenge Stories here. 
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Frankie
Junior Member
United Kingdom
213 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2009 : 08:16:37 AM
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That was a great first attempt Penski! See, told you it wasn't that hard!
Having just had to visit my eldest son's headteacher this morning, I could really relate to your characterisation of Han, before things changed! Actually, the one of Jed fits my younger one quite well too!
Really enjoyed the descriptions of the personality changes. Not over dramaticised and totally believable - good job.
'Life is for loving' |
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countryrosie
Starting Member
USA
16 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2009 : 09:17:52 AM
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Penski loved your first attempt to write. Hope to see more of your writing. I can identify with the first teacher. When I was a preschool teacher I just loved to watch the kids learn. They would struggle with something and then it was like turning on a light bulb they got it. I've had a few teachers myself when I was younger that made me feel the way Kid did with that second teacher.
Frankie I can feel the frustration Kid feels not being able to help Heyes out. They go through so much. I hope you'll finish the story though as I got to know how bad Heyes is hurt and if they get out of jail.
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Penski
Moderator
USA
243 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2009 : 10:27:51 AM
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Hope it lives up to expectations?!? That was great - and Heyes never leaving a member of the gang (Kid shoulda know). I was hoping you would continue the Outlaws That Wouldn't Quit series, but I wasn't so sure when I saw the theme No Love Lost. Hope you'll be able to continue with March's challenge.
"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry |
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Ghislaine
Moderator
USA
290 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2009 : 7:06:57 PM
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Penski: I said it on the other board and it still applies: Great compare-and-contrast scenes! Really enjoyed the story.
Frankie: SO glad you continued the story! I really got a sense of Kid's anger and determination to find a way out. Am I gonna have to wait another month for the next installment? Oh no!
Maz: Again, I loved the characterization of Kid--so sweet and tender. And, as usual, the dialog between Kid and Heyes was perfect!
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Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. -- Helen Keller
Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy. -- Hannibal Heyes |
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Penski
Moderator
USA
243 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2009 : 5:39:35 PM
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Love that story, Maz - very touching! Sounds like Kid needs a hug to me!
Very cute, Sister Grace, and very entertaining!
"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry |
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Ghislaine
Moderator
USA
290 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2009 : 9:52:35 PM
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Sister Grace: That was hilarious!!! You kept me wondering what Heyes was looking for until the very end. Great story!
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Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. -- Helen Keller
Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy. -- Hannibal Heyes |
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Frankie
Junior Member
United Kingdom
213 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2009 : 04:39:27 AM
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Maz - I did manage to read yours on the other site but have only just found it here!! You just know these two characters so well, you write them perfectly. I can visualise every action and facial expression. Another tale simply but elegeantly told.
Sister Grace - loved that! Brought a big smile to my face. What better way to start a Sunday!
'Life is for loving' |
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Maz
New Member
United Kingdom
79 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2009 : 10:13:57 AM
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Penski..as I said before Boo Hiss to nasty school marm's
Frankie I loved it. Really felt the tension and a great idea to show it from Kid's point of view. I know we are going to get more. I want more too!!
Sister Grace that was wonderful..love Kid shooting the coin! Great idea.
How could you forget a thing like breakfast? |
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Sister Grace
Junior Member
158 Posts |
Posted - 02/16/2009 : 06:38:04 AM
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penski - Poor Heyes and Kid! I'm really glad you decided to jump in and start writing!
Frankie - Love the next installment of your on-going adventure! Lots of tension.
Maz - (Sniff!) Very touching!
...try to be just a little bit frivolous. - KC |
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Mary
New Member
United Kingdom
78 Posts |
Posted - 02/18/2009 : 01:20:54 AM
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Penski...What a contrast between their old life and new, great to see you joining in with the writing.
Frankie...Poor Heyes, I hope you're going to continue with the story so Kid can get him out of this.
Maz....Great dialogue, as usual. I can imagine this as a scene in an episode.
Sister Grace....I love your story... the icy glare that Kyle thinks is directed at him, I live with a thief/I live with a cheat, Kid's satisfaction when he shoots a hole in the coin and of course Heyes having another lucky coin. Wonderful!
Mary
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Frankie
Junior Member
United Kingdom
213 Posts |
Posted - 02/19/2009 : 5:17:44 PM
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Ghislaine - think you've really got the hang of this writing lark! That was great! Each characterisation was spot on. Aw - an 18 year old Kid! Bless!
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'Life is for loving' |
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mouse
Starting Member
USA
32 Posts |
Posted - 02/19/2009 : 6:40:00 PM
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I liked that, Ghis. Clapping icon.
We stand tallest when we stoop to help others. |
Edited by - mouse on 02/19/2009 6:40:48 PM |
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Penski
Moderator
USA
243 Posts |
Posted - 02/19/2009 : 11:29:26 PM
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I love outlaw stories - thanks, Ghislaine! Nice to see Kid bein' the smart one this time.
"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry |
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Maz
New Member
United Kingdom
79 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2009 : 4:26:33 PM
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Good one Ghislaine..and yep nice to see Kid being the smart one. SO Heyes and Wheat have always been antagonists huh?
How could you forget a thing like breakfast? |
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Sariya
Moderator
United Kingdom
80 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2009 : 3:40:30 PM
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What wonderful stories from everyone.I really enjoyed them all.
Penski - Great contrast between the two teachers and how their teaching methods influenced the boys lifes so much. So sad in the end.
Frankie - Glad you were able to come up with a sequel to the stories but how could you hurt them both? - sob.Lots of angst and tension, and a vengeful Kid aswell.
Maz - That was a very poignant story. Love the dialogue you create between them and the remark from Kid about the rhetorical question. Poor Kid, but Heyes was there for him.
Sister Grace- Had a good laugh with your story. So at last Kid found that coin. Sneaky of Heyes to have a replacement though.
Ghislaine -Great early outlaw days story. Enjoyed the dialogue especially Kid questioning Heyes about whether he had ever made a mistake and Heyes' realising he had.
Well done Ladies.
To err is human, to forgive, divine. - Alexander Pope |
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Awestruck Comments? Here Please! More! More!
